Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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