I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
