What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
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her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
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I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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