party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
