your thong is hanging out like whoa
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
