What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My bed smells like the plague
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
