Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
