Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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