There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize