Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
kristin has been a bad kristin
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
