Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize