READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
