The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize