I think i peed on brittanys purse
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
