just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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