I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
