So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i will never coherently bang her
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
