I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize