# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
