So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
