She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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