That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
