you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
