i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
