he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
this boner is exhausting
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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