Who wears a wallet chain?!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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