looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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