I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
