My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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