I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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