So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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