I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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