i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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