Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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