I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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