would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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