his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
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When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
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You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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