i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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