Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We are all done wearing pants today
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize