I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
