Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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