I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
