I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
