she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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