so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
