Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
