Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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