so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
