it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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