How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I look better un-naked...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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