Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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