Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
