I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Randomize