whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
