i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
