summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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