He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
