Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize