are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
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At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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